Shabu shabu sa langit ang tamaan ay syang magre-react.

Funny. Last Thursday, at the midst of my noontime reverie, a text message that was supposed to strike me quite offensively, came. The sender was a “concerned friend”, a high school batch mate (daw) who calls me DJAI whom I find rather stupid because first of all, it’s only in Ateneo de Naga that DJAI was adopted and I am well known only as DJIAN or DJOANNA in high school that until now, nobody calls me with my said college pseudonym here in Legazpi. Anyway, as her inanity goes, she claimed she knows a certain Aquinian girl na friend daw ng friend ng friend nya (NYAHAHA!) who’s busily flirting with Ahmad (acheche!).

Wait, to give you something to really laugh about, I’ll try to jot down our text conversation as far as my phone memory can excavate. Ehehehe hehe he he he….

***grammar and some spelling have been autocorrected for the sake of her kasusupgan but some have been retained for the comedic heck of it.

CF (concerned friend): Djai…

Me: What?

CF: I am a very concerned friend of yours. Batchmate mo if you only know.Forget it.Do you know who’s this new girl of Amad?

Me: Nope.

CF: Curs I do. (of course you do! hehe)

Me: Ok. Sain taka ka-batch?

CF: Hi-schu (wow slang ang hayof, HAHA!)

Me: Ok.

CF: Actuali fren ng fren ng fren ko her. It’s for you to find out.Awa lang ako sayo.

Me: Ok. I’m not interested. (sa txt pa lang ng gaga, duda na ako)

CF: Ok, na sayo na yan. **Tina is her name. (akala ko ba, "it’s for me to find out?" ano ta sinabi mo na??) Aquinian yan. For cumlaude,tangkad,morena,maganda.Marami naiinggit sakanya. Just givin you some info. Saw ‘em together last april& last wed and thurs lunch. (wow, garo stalker!)

Me: Ganon? Ayos ah.Mukhang perfect. Beauty and brains. Naks.

CF: U should know the lady first, honey. She’s flirting with your husband, vice versa. Di ko sila sinisiraan (ano pa man ang piggigibo mo?!DUH). I just hope that name is familiar to you.

***I forwarded her msgs to Ahmad and he replied that **Tina is actually **Tinzy who’s a female friend, etc etc.

*** I remember meeting her 2 times already (i think) but thanks to marlboro gold, I couldn’t exactly remember her face although by name, I knew her pretty well. Hmmmm.

Me(to CF): Tina daw is Tinzy?

CF: I dont know pero Tina kasi sabi ng fren ng fren ko. Pero di ko naman kilala yun. Sabi lang sakin.

*** I ended the conversation with CF already but after an hour, she texted me again.

CF: Now u know her? Friends of my friends (wow, daming network!) told me they keep on saying they were just good friends. Good friends, d8ng? During lunch, dinner, etc. Just the two of them ha! Would that be Ok to you? wooooow. Sigh. (naano ka man ta may naaraman ka pang SIGH?! ehehehehe)

***No reply. After a while…

CF: Sort of swit pa nga sila eh. Four time ko sila nakita (wow, Sabi mo balita lang yan saimo kan fren ng fren ng fren mo?). I thot it’s you. All we and my frens know Tina ang name nya. Who’s Tinsky? (Sisay mananggad na Tinsky? An sabi ko baga, Tinzy!! Notice the change of spelling man daa? Istayl. Para dai nya man daa bisto si Tinzy. ehehehe)

*** Guess what? I’m not stupid. CF suddenly was fishing for Tinzy. Hmmmm. My sly, scheming mind started to fuel up its engine and I decided, why not ride on? I replied with a devious smile…

Me: Ah, si Tinzy? Sabi kang mga tropa kong bakla jan sa Aquinas pokpok daw yun, may ansud tapos mabata ang hangaw. Bako man morena, garo daa ngani agta. Tapos kadiri daw to ta patalon pa. Nagtext pa lang mga barkada ko from aquinas. Kilala daw palan ninda.

*** Sa isip ko lang, kung maging defensive si CF about Tinzy or ipagtanggol nya, it only means one thing….hehehe. Aram na nindo kung ano. Wara man baga akong amigang patal. Try to figure out.

CF: Morena yon. Pero priti-pritihan daw sabi ng frend ng fren ko  Mukhang malinis man. Pero sabi nila virgin pa yon, halata naman. (O DBA?!hahaha! bakit all of a sudden pinagtatabggol mo kung bako ka man patal!).

Me: Ah tlga? Sabi kaya kan mga source ko stupid daw tlga to tapos makanuson. Yaks! Ansudon pa. Yaks! Tapos pakantut daw yun. Dakul na nagtira duman.

CF: Di ah. Running for cumlaude yon! kwento lang ng fren ko.tahimik lang saya kung tingnan, approachable and kind. Ano daw sabi ni ahmad about Tinsky? (diputa, sabi ng TINZY, bako Tinsky! eheheh. May naaraman pa pating cumlaude. Akala ko ba di mo kilala si Tinsky??)

Me: Ang sabi ni Ahmad kay Tinsky? Dakulaon daa buray kaito, 3 ang utong tsaka maation daa ang pusod (HAHA!). Tapos mabataon daa ang hangaw. May utang daa duman si ahmad, pero dai mi naman to babayadan. haha! Yaks! Uto-uto kaya.

(*** next day, Ahmad would be receiving anonymous text msgs from someone who’s galit na galit kasi sinisiraan daw ni ahmad si Tinzy. DUH!!!!)

CF: Wala naman yon boylet ever since. Mommy’s girl daw yun (ta aram mo?). Pero kung makita mo yun, maganda ang tindig non, parang model...(o tapos?)

Me: Well sori sya, masurprise visit ako sa Aquinas. Pinakua ko na sked nya sa mga barkada ko jan. Tatapirangon ko ‘to. Ininform ko naman mga ka-brad and sis ko jan sa Aquinas. Sinda na daa bahala. Lagot sya samuya. bwahahaha!

CF: Uy, di naman ata yun mahilig sa trobol.

Me: Ay sori sya, mahilig ako sa trobol. ahahaha! Di ba tga-**Barameda yun? gudlak saiya!

CF: Ang alam ko lumipat na sila eh. (hahaha! takuton na garo si CF!)

Me: Dai man ito naglipat. Besides, susuggudon ko man sya inot sa aquinas. Dawa pa sya magtago sa lubot ni mama nya.

CF: Kelan ka pupunta dito?

Me: SECRET!!!! bwahahaha

CF: May matataray yun na frend. Kilala mo si **Sandy Chuva? Tropa nya yun. Gaga, baka magsurog yun kay Tinzy. Matarayon pati ito, wala pang umuubra dun. Gudlak din sayo kung yun ang ma-timingan mo. Yun ang makakalaban mo kung di makasagot si Tinsky.

Me: So? Wala ng taray taray sa ice pick. Baka gripuhan lang sinda sa ngurapak, dai na sya makapalag (note: my friends and I were laughing our asses off as we were texting this. Mygod, patalon!)

CF: Actuali, dalawa ang Tinzy sa Aquinas….

Me: E di pareho ko sinda papa-tripan para walang ligtas.(HAHAHAAH!)

CF: Haha, ilan na ba naipapatay mo?

Me: Bako naman ako ang kalaban na Tinzy and tropa nya, frat ko na. Nagmi-meeting na sinda ngonyan actuali kung pano ako ibabalos.

CF: Anong frat mo?

Me: Tau gamma.

**Then, dai na sya nagtext.

BWAHAHAHAHA! Next time you plan to plot a scheme, psycho bitch, make sure it’s well coordinated and use just even half of your brain. Okie?

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