survey daa baga ni haha

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there’s a light that never goes out

I have been listening to The Smiths awful lot lately. there’s this certain feel of connection in me towards his songs. as i was browsing for more Smiths videos in youtube, i landed into one of their documentaries.

morrissey said, maybe the reason why people love their songs regardless of the culture differences, gender and sexual orientations is because it speaks of hidden motives and unconscious yearnings that nobody has the nerve to talk about because of fear and rejection possibilities as well as "image conscious" concerns. his songs usually have negative imagery in lonely, lonely hums and strums but pretty sharp with words. they sort of surfaced through the UK’s music scene during the punk or post punk era and war and political issues were vehement. they dared speak of their opinions of such issues through their songs wherein morrissey’s voice has a perfect abandonment-tone. he opens his mouth without much effort yet pining and search for freedom was clearly apparent and succesfully tackled.

i dont know why i am talking about this.

i feel for morrissey.

"to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die…"

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D E T A C H M E N T

I am mourning.

I lost myself in the proces of growth.

And dying.

Impulse. Stubborness. Arrogance. Love.

They all killed me.

The fire. The shiver.

All gone.

Clamored for help

I thought you are the light

but you are occupied, as well.

Do not blame me.

I was subtle.

And you were too confident.

And the starting line is difficult to uncover.

Inner peace. Buddha. Tibet. Meditation.

And even goodbyes.

Silly options.

Desperation.

This is a long, and tricky process.

But i hope to be back.

I am shutting the world now.

I am for myself again.

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walang period

never want to be in a grinding halt because of domestic bliss i want to take care of my child without losing fire years of frustrating mess dull even the brilliant mind i was once a rabid optimist now everything’s like a faulknerian scenario shambles decay i suck if i’m suicidal this would be the time i’d kill myself but no i have morrissey he sings with me and he sings for people like me who struggles wanting to get out but cannot because there’s a lot to do a lot to prioritize and a lot to mind first but how can i mind them without losing sanity if i aint happy but what will make me happy i dont even know because i suck and there’s pressure in every part of my body waaaaaaaa waaaaaaa pent up frustration is bad it does not do any good to your soul im a slave

yeaaaaaaaaaah

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retort PART 1

I’m in a state of severe annoyance and grave hysteria because of some pent up retort I wasn’t able to shove down somebody’s face in respect of his/her dismal condition and because I was too busy getting annoyed. That somebody told me my friends in Naga are bad influences and that they suck. No they don’t. You have no idea how these so-called friends of mine you referred to as bad influences helped me in putting myself together, piece by piece, flesh by flesh, second after second. You got them figured out all wrong. And I feel bad and guilty and terribly bothered that I was not able to defend them at your face. So, with the means of this blog, let me tell you something about these "bad creatures" from Naga who you think are helping me ruin my life.

MARJ — coming from the richest clan of Naga, you might actually wonder how she’s gotten to be so humble, practical, down-to-earth and most specially, friends with me. The most genuinely caring friend in the list, she actually gets teary eyed but carefully hiding them away from me whenever she knows I’m in pain. She’s genetically predisposed to have this teenage magazine-pretty face and a fashion statement that’s way too overboard Naga’s horde of pseudo-fashionitas who claims they shop weekly thus declaring they’re fashionitas and kikay (yeah right you dumb ass). But she’s too Harajuku to care of course. From her I learned that having financial benefits ain’t enough to have yourself soaring high on top of anyone and that being different is not a curse, you can in fact use it to your advantage. Right now all she cares about is to be Palgot’s #1 object of desire, be the best mom to Gotchi, work hard (yup, we’re still talking about Marj here) to establish domestic growth and dress up right. I’m so proud of you Marj and even prouder that you actually won’t take the diet pills I gave you because you don’t want to lose appetite because according to you, pigging out is the best. So true.

DUKE– the gentle giant. you might actually get scared watching Duke’s dangling red tonsils in front of you as his mouth grows aggresively bigger like the big bad wolf in Little Red Riding Hood while he gets carried away in one of his awe-inspiring political-and-socially-conscious originals onstage. but deep within the fabrics of his grungeness lies the name he holds of high-esteem and love, his mother. this straightforward Sam-Milby-aura-and-built-alike genius who despises our corrupt government more than anyone I know and does not shy away in expressing them is,yes,a mama’s boy and he’s proud of it. He values his mother as,I think,he will value his future wife but unfortunately, aaahhh SECRET (hehehehe). He taught me not only the significance of being socially aware and conscious, and the meaning of freedom in the form of art and expressing oneself but also the proper way of excavating shelves and piles in Booksale. hehehe.

ELMER — a lover of sarcasm, irony and parody, he’s packed with knowledge as google and yahoo are but he sucks at being a braggart that it’ll actually humble you down. a very unassuming companion who’d rather watch Lito Lapid roll in mud and laugh at his own slapstick stints than ignite highly scholastic conversation with anyone brainy just to prove his debating prowess. but once he opens his mouth to defend what he thinks is true and just, I’d bet you my ass’ virginity and you’ll end up facing him with a clenched teeth, mentally torturing and tackling every brain cell your skull can accomodate, with style. we call him, the walking encyclopedia. and he talks about music like armaggedon’s about to come any minute. with him around, it makes me realize i’m way too far from being wise. and loved.

(to be continued……….)

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