INSEKYUR

i can be misleading sometimes. or there are circumstances when I am triggered to do things I don’t intend to. I don’t mean to hurt people. I bite because they make me. i plunge because i am being pushed. people ask me why I sting and why I can be such a cynic most of the time. now here’s a thing, i value openess as much as other people value privacy. I can be sarcastic, biting and snappy most of the time but it is only because i hate pretensions and denials. it can be very disappointing to know one thing from another and yet some people tend to speak of what’s not real only to prove God-knows-what.

i have talked to Tanya just recently and we were exchanging thoughts about a friend’s issues that really concerns us a lot coz in the first place, she is a friend and nobody’s around to throw brutally honest things on her face but us. But i told Tanya that maybe we should just let her be. that maybe it’s a phase she has to go through in order to realize things on her own. Although she might get crazily annoying most of the time, i thought maybe she’ll get a grasp of herself soon. but that means learning the hard way and hurting the people she loves. now that could be tough yet such an eye-opener. I said insecurity can really make you go to places you shouldn’t be standing at and if you don’t handle it well, it can lead you trouble deep. but the thing is, we have different issues that cause insecurity and the remedy is not generic. what works for some people may not work for you.

Like for example, some people I know have issues on material stuff wherein everything that matters to them is social status and symbols. They wanted to prove something out of the things they possess thus, social climbers. They get easily insecure when they feel like they don’t own enough to be branded as rich and cool and whatever despite the fact that their resources are limited. And in order to embrace these whims, they associate with people who could shed them glow under their shadows. That’s how they cope with their insecurity. And there are those people who have severe longing for emotional comfort. People who lacks love and “hugs”. People with trust issues. Their insecurities manifest on jealousy, possessiveness, cynicism and idealistic way of thinking. This kind and level of insecurity may not be visible to people around the person but can be extremely felt by the people she cares about. Insecurities can also lead a person to wanting to prove something. They feel like they need to prove this in order to cover up for what they fear most.

Regarding our friend, Tanya doesn’t want to give up on her because we know her potentials and we know how great she really is. Only that something triggered her that made her lose it just like Marj’s stalker-friend lose it. But I know she’ll come around, hopefully soon. We could only manage a long sigh. As much as we wanted to help our friend, we decided, we really can’t help it – having insecurities. There are just some important things for her that she needs to prove that may not even be substantial for us but may really mean a lot to her. And all we can offer her are non-stop advises and cutting reality checks. That’s what friends are for, right?

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